Knowing Pain
Document Type
Master's Thesis
Graduation Year
2026
Writing Track
Creative Nonfiction
Degree
Master of Fine Arts
Program
Creative Writing
Program Director
Judy Halebsky, PhD
First Reader
Iris Jamahl Dunkle
Second Reader
Judy Halebsky, PhD
Description
Knowing Pain is a memoir of growing up in a Jewish-American family with disabled foster and adoptive siblings and having my chronic pains dismissed. I combine my story of experiencing chronic pain, complex trauma, and mental health conditions with scholarly research about pain and disability stigmas to help other chronically pained women and people assigned female at birth—the majority of the over 50 million US adults who experience chronic pain (per the CDC)—feel less alone, afraid, and ashamed. By writing about the silencing and ridiculing of my pains by my family members and medical providers, Knowing Pain challenges the pain prejudices, disability discrimination, anti-fat biases, and mental health stigmas that restrict who is considered deserving of care. I expose the ways in which western social conceptions of health, illness, and wellness are constructed based on sexist, racist, and ableist premises, and uplift the power of people who have chronic pain and our supporters to advocate for more compassionate and equitable treatment.
The narrative arc of my memoir follows three themes: “Meeting Pain” in childhood and adolescence, “Fighting Pain” in my late teens through early twenties, and “Knowing Pain” in my mid-twenties through early thirties. This thesis includes the beginning chapters from the section “Meeting Pain.” No Artificial Intelligence aside from spelling and grammar checking via Google Docs and Microsoft Word was used in the creation of this thesis.
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