The Tuxedo Archives

Article Title

Stolen Memories


I was eight when I first tried my hand at deception (actually thievery, to be more specific). I was raised in a house with very strict food regulations. That sounds like it was terrible, but actually it was rather healthy. While other children ate Lunchables™ and cookies, my packed lunch usually consisted of tofu, carrots and a sandwich on wholewheat bread. This brought about issues from my classmates. While other kids were busy making sure their homework was complete and their uniforms were pristine every morning before school, I would carpool into school anticipating how my classmates were going to wrest the lettuce from my whole-wheat sandwich to give to the class turtle. Seriously, I will never own a turtle. I regard them with a general suspicion and truly believe them to be selfish creatures that are only out to please their own hedonistic qualities. Not gonna lie; don’t like the hollow, snappy faced little things. They’re sneaky.


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