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I Will Never Get Better is part of my senior thesis about visually representing the effects of mood disorders.

My thesis focuses primarily on the effects of mood disorders and combining emotionally charged portraits with scratched in text conveying my personal negative thoughts. About 20% of the U.S. population reports at least one depressive symptom in a given month, and 12% report two or more in a year. A survey conducted in 1992 found rates of major depression reaching 5% in the previous 30 days, 17% for a lifetime. I am part of those statistics. I have lived with the diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder for 10 years as of March 2018. Through my images I wish to convey the truth of mood disorders and how they can affect even the most normal looking people and how mood disorders don’t have a certain look to them. Through this thesis work I wish to raise awareness about the destructive thoughts, and show how these thoughts can lurk below the surface to appear to ruin the person struggling with such thoughts.

I Will Never Get Better is the only digital photo in my collection, the remaining 4 images are silver gelatin prints made in a darkroom from negatives, with the text then scratched into the surface of the image.




Digital Photography and Film Photography


Matthew Garcia, MFA